The Death of Spider-Man.

"You have no idea how close to God I've journeyed to do this."

And with that, an eight-year journey ends.

I first started reading Ultimate Spider-Man in, I think it was late 2003 or 2004. It was relatively early in the series' life, but long enough had passed that a multitude of trade paperbacks were available. I got the big hardback volume containing the first six books in the series, on special at Barnes & Noble, while I was visiting with my father in Nevada. Without getting into the details of our somewhat distant relationship, many of the things I have left of my father are memories of what I was reading, listening to, watching at that time; when he passed away in 2005, I remember picking up more paperbacks of Ultimate Spider-Man to make the drive to his funeral in Alabama a little more bearable.

We also bonded over my newfound love for comic books that began with the 2001 Spider-Man film and this series in particular. I discovered that he had once had a huge comic collection in his youth that his mother threw out, which he was infuriated about until the day he passed. I remember my brothers discussing the then-recent Fantastic Four film at my father's wake. I guess what I'm trying to say is, comics mean a lot in my family, not so much in substance as a sort of shared interest, a backdrop to all of our far-flung lives. Ultimate Spidey was kind of my real initiation into that world for the first time.

I couldn't get the trade paperbacks past a certain number in New Zealand, and they were far too unreasonably priced over there anyway. I caught up every now and then, through various means, some more legal than others; so when I moved back here, I took the first opportunity to binge myself on the entire remainder of the series, from the Ultimatum crossover to the Death of Spider-Man, the final pages of which I'm just shutting now.

Holy shit, really.

Peter's first blooming relationship of MJ-- one of several, with and without her-- echoed my own first loves. Seeing him with Gwen Stacy in the more recent issues was heart-rending in a beautiful way, because she felt like such a better fit for him, no matter what the continuity says. Knowing that his death was swift approaching made it all that more difficult. Gwen particularly resonates with me in a way few literary characters in recent memory have, and I can easily relate her to someone I know very closely now. Norman Osborn, in the Ultimate universe, remains one of the most incredible villains I've ever seen, and I knew from the get-go that it would have to be him who ended Peter's life.

There are so many vibrant characters, deep story arcs, and heart-wrenching moments across the nearly ten years I've been reading this series. It has completely cemented my viewpoint of comic books as an amazing storytelling medium, in line with the likes of Watchmen, Preacher, and Akira. I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

As a writer, it is my fucking life's ambition produce something with the same impact on somebody that USM and Brian Michael Bendis have had on me. And in a strange way, back here in California, I feel as though my late father is finishing it with me. Thank you, Mr. Bendis; you have continually shown me what it is to inspire.

It's late, and I have to get up very early tomorrow. So this ends just like it began.